The Redesigned Apinya.Co

Pictured above: The fresh, new design of Apinya.Co

Welcome to the partially new Apinya.Co web shop! We’d like to take a moment to tell you about some of the features we’ve added to make your e-commerce e-xperience e-ven better. After more than 677,000 combined man- and womanhours of labor to remove outdated emojis, the new, official storefront and information portal for Apinya Thai Food Co. is here. Here are some of the enhancements we’ve worked into the site:

“With the Apinya.Co redesign, we can highlight words by making them larger and pulling them completely out of context.”

Vertical scrolling. The need to manually enter a new URL every time your eye reads to the bottom of a web page is gone. We’ve integrated the latest scrollable technology into every page on the site, so additional information is literally at your fingertips. We’ve also included hyperlinks so you can navigate to a different page with a click of the mouse instead of printing out a new page, scanning it, then using OCR to convert it to HTML. Most of you are probably tired of so-called “endless scrolling;” rest assured all of our site’s pages have an ending.
Fully Y2K compliant. While much of the worry about the Y2K bug turned out to be fruitless (sorry—food industry pun), we have retroactively hard-coded the backend of our site for total Y2K compliance. Should timekeeping restart and we reach the year 1,000, we have complete confidence that the site will still be up, running, and taking orders. We’ve even gone the extra step of reprogramming all dates with 5 digits to prepare for the eventual Y10K bug.

100% GMO-free ingredients. Even though it has been shown that genetically modified ingredients are nutritionally exactly the same as non-GMO ingredients, and there have been no recorded instances of any ill effects from GMO consumption since first introduced more than 20 years ago, we have taken steps to pre-ban GMOs from being used to create our website. Shockingly, many of the human programmers we tested had been genetically modified since before they were born, so we only used robots, like in that one movie. Additionally, although no cows were used in the redesign of our site, any cows that could have been used but were not used were not given rBGH, a hormone when used the “US Food and Drug Administration” claims has no significant difference when compared to cows not treated with rBGH.

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